We as humans love to love. Many search for it, many have it and many would do anything for it. But is it all that it's cut out to be? Most importantly, is it right for you?
When making important life-impacting decisions we as rational creatures weigh up the pros and cons. Is it good for me long term? Can I afford this? Do I have time? This logical thinking goes through the window when making decisions about love, lust and relationships.
Which is expected, it’s an emotion. We never break down the reasons for happiness, we just go with it. So what’s the difference?
Personally, I am yet to be made aware of anyone that has received children, STDs, divorce or loss of friends and themself as a result of happiness.
Unlike happiness, the power of love is the most influential driver of humans. Except the driver has a blindfold on and is travelling at 100 mph towards paradise, hell or simply mediocrity. That is the beauty of it.
Although when committing to such decisions we should ensure that we are in the position to take that ride and are ready for its outcomes to avoid negatively impacting you and others.
Are you ready to fall in love?
1. LOVE YOUR TIME
Time is money. An ambitious and goal-driven individual is well aware of this. And often wishes for more of it. When committing to a relationship, be it casual or serious, it unknowingly eats away at your hours.
As a result, this will require you to make sacrifices. The hours that are usually attributed to bettering yourself are being committed to another individual. Do you get up early to do that morning routine or do you stay in bed a little longer ‘with your other half’?
A term that should be burned from the vocabulary of any self-respecting person. You should not seek to become fulfilled through the use of another person. Relationships should instead be the combination of two wholes that enhance the life of the other.
Sacrifices are important but make the right ones. DO WHAT IS RIGHT NOT WHAT IS EASY.
2. STOP LOVING DISTRACTIONS
Relationships are often where dreams go to die. Don’t just take it from me. Take it from the people in your life. How many people enter relationships and get fat? Stop going to the gym? Give up extracurricular activities? And stop bettering themself?
This is called complacency. Relationships provide you with a feeling of comfort. A plague that breeds mediocrity and allows for standards to slip.
When in a relationship you are required to make difficult decisions. Do you go to the gym and work hard or do you stay at home pretending to enjoy whatever crime documentary is popular at the time?
It’s a defence mechanism for insecure individuals. Rather than hold each other accountable the majority allow for standards to drop so that they are undesired by others.
To avoid this, set boundaries and discuss them with your partner. Tell them that there are periods in the day that are dedicated to you. Such as time to go to the gym, do that morning and nightly routine and time to focus at work.
If they do not agree then they are likely not as positive for your life as you previously thought.
However, it’s important to dedicate time to your partner. As a result, this will likely create a greater dynamic. Allowing you to fully apply yourself to the other individual rather than being distracted by life.
3. RESPONSIBILITY
Relationships ultimately lead to responsibility. Be that a child, a house or simply the need to provide for something other than yourself. On the one hand, this can provide purpose to a life that otherwise didn’t have one.
On the other, it can hinder those that already possess a purpose. This is because responsibility requires stability. You are no longer able to take risks that ultimately lead to big success and growth. Instead, you are required to steady the ship, rather than using it to conquer and embark on the adventure to excellence.
Admittedly there are periods in life that require stability as conquering can become exhausting. However, choose these times wisely. Do not force yourself into a life of permanent relaxation.
We all too often take freedom for granted. So take advantage of this liberty before you decide to drop the anchor of responsibility in your life.
This is not a sad, heartbroken relationship hit piece. Relationships do have an extreme degree of value within the life of everyone when executed properly. Providing comfort, joy, accountability, inspiration and motivation in an otherwise difficult world.
It is rather a guide to avoid being blinded by love. Give your time to the right person. Determine whether that action has a net positive for your life. If you are giving more to the relationship than what you are receiving then this is a poor investment.
Or otherwise referred to as ‘Russian roulette’ syndrome. The willingness to risk everything for favourable odds. Despite the crippling downside.
I can’t say definitively if you are ready. The likelihood is that you never will be. But do not preemptively sacrifice your time, drive and prosperity for sex, loneliness and boredom. These will be repaid as a reward for the continuation of self-improvement and success.
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