navigate the dark side of self-improvement so that you continue to the bright side stronger and greater than what you entered.
The strenuous path to self-improvement is one that has been glorified, commercialised and sold to the millions. Clearly a proven business model, with a whole country’s foundation relying on this exact thing. ‘The American dream’.
It’s not surprising given humans’ unending quest for improvement. However, just like the ‘American dream’ it can just as quickly become a nightmare if not done correctly.
Does this mean that we should be discouraged? No, but just like when preparing for any other journey you should be aware of the obstacles and dangers of the path you are taking.
A journey on which I have embarked and continue to encourage others to join. This article is intended to be a flashlight that allows you to navigate the dark in the hopes that you continue to the bright side stronger and greater than what you entered.
Here are three things I wish I knew before beginning my journey of self-improvement:
1. Isolation
No matter how many friends you have, inevitably on the journey to self-betterment, there are periods of loneliness. It’s important to understand that despite being difficult they stimulate growth.
In periods of isolation, you discover your true self. Your true desires, opinions, strengths and weaknesses. Absolutely imperative for further improvement.
It has been proven that an individual’s outlook on stress can determine many factors within their life. If one has a positive outlook on the stress they will likely live longer and become more successful.
Therefore begin to perceive stress as a challenge. One that you will overcome and will level up as a result of conquering.
Isolation will begin for numerous reasons. Firstly, the process of self-improvement requires habit and routine. It requires you to go to the gym consistently, follow a relatively structured diet and sleep 8 hours a night.
SELF IMPROVEMENT
Inescapably, friends will fail to understand that you have responsibilities. That you cannot afford to rot five nights of the week at the pub or play Xbox into the late hours of the night. For that reason, it is likely that you will be an outcast despite all efforts to continue that relationship.
Success is a lonely place because people do not understand that the grind, the suffering and the short-term discomfort result in eternal greatness. If they do understand then your goals are not ambitious and your actions need to be bigger to achieve them.
As a result of no action of your own, people around you will begin to express jealousy. The demonstration of willpower and the strength to improve is something that many long for and will never achieve. It’s much easier to hate than it is to get better.
All this does is highlight the negative qualities of the people around you. Do what is rational and not reasonable. It’s reasonable to not want to cut your friends off to avoid discomfort. But it’s rational to surround yourself only with the best to grow.
Remember to thrive in loneliness. It may be one of the few times in your life when you can truly do what you like. A blessing in disguise.
It will also allow for the creation of more like-minded friends that will encourage healthy habits and lifestyles rather than destroy them.
If you do on the other hand struggle to befriend strangers see this article here on how to speak to anyone.
2. JEKYLL OR HYDE?
When developing your character, and changing values, opinions and beliefs you ultimately eliminate your previous self in order to become a new and improved version. This becomes problematic when surrounded by individuals that associate that previous form with the new you.
As a result, I found my personality conforming to others’ perceptions of me. This became incredibly exhausting as it is difficult to continuously enact this facade despite efforts not to.
This is a sign that you have outgrown your environment. So why not move somewhere new? Somewhere where you can be your true self. No judgement or explanations.
I do not encourage individuals to run away from their problems. However, in this specific situation, moving away is a solution. A solution that will create new opportunities, experiences and challenges that will further your self-improvement.
We are all too happy to ignore the value of our environment in the insurance of security and comfort. Let’s face it the majority of us live in bottomless pits of mediocrity. A plague that buries ambition.
So be exceptional and let your aspirations flourish. A tree can only grow to be as big as its surroundings.
3. Discontent
You know, comfort. That feeling allows you to sleep in, allows you to watch Netflix and allows you to accept every negative factor in your life for the sake of your feelings.
Say goodbye to it. You will quickly discover that feelings are merely distractions and that success at the end of discomfort is more than a worthy reward.
It’s you vs you. Yes, going to the gym is better than the previous version of you that didn’t. But that version is a fiction of your imagination. Currently, YOU can lift more, work harder and go further.
Don’t compare Yourself with a version of yourself that no longer exists as a means to feel good and slip back into comfort. You may have gained 20 lbs of muscle but you can gain 40 lbs. So go do it.
Why stop halfway up the mountain? You still haven’t seen the view.
The truth is these are feelings that everyone experiences. However, while you suffer from self-doubt. Asking yourself are you doing enough? Are you good enough? Others are terrified of your potential.
We all experience isolation, doubt and discontent but only the great learn how to use these emotions and turn them into gold. Use them as fuel to power that bulldozer and crush the competition. Which is yourself.
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